I am SO bored of being broke. I am SO bored with believing that I really don’t want or need money in my life. My previous boss and now good friend, Lisa, once told me way back when I was twenty-two years old that I had a negative relationship with money. Too bad she didn’t know that before she hired me to run her Spanish fundraising office for her NGO in Ghana!
I never understood what she meant until recently. It’s true. I diss money. I diss people with money. I’ve always viewed it as something negative that strains relationships, prevents you from doing things you want to do, and ends up in the hands of people who exploit it when there is so much poverty in the world. Phrases like “I hate money” and “Money can suck a big one” and “Ugh, I hate sales” probably were not inspiring old money bags to fork me over my fortune the past years.
This summer, unemployed and paperless in Spain, my friends paid my rent for me. I almost got in a fight with some punkis over a durum. Any nice meal out or drink was usually invited out of the good will of a good friend. My whole trip to the US and Burning Man were incredible gifts from my friends. There is nothing more humbling than asking for favors, or even worse at times, being offered favors without even asking for them. When I am in more fortunate situations, I love treating people and I have been known to let people borrow money as well. So I’m sure it always work itself out. But I much rather be in the giving spot than the receiving end. Any day.
But the financial tides are changing. Oh, they are! Because I’m growing to love money. Money is slowly growing to love me too. Money is in the process of pardoning me for all the bad things I said and did in the past. I know we have a beautiful future together, if we can just get through this difficult time things will be great! Even the medicine man in Senegal and the Shaman in Mexico told me I’m going to be wealthy. Money, you and I cannot deny our destiny. The spiritual gurus of the Southern Hemisphere see that we are meant to be together! I apologize a million times over for how I treated you, dear money. Please forgive me. And let’s move on.
The Power of Attraction, and also my hilarious Basque friend Fernando, both swear that visualization and manifestation can bring you what you want. I feel like in other areas of my life this has always been the case, so why not try with money now! The secret is that you are supposed to see yourself with what you want (money in the bank!) and to act as though you already have it. For example, make a plane reservation and plan that trip, and the money will somehow manifest itself. This month was a good example. I came back from the US and signed up for three courses in October that I couldn’t afford. Hula hoop dance. A women’s retreat. And my doula training. And guess what? I attended each one! Ok, so I am now down to small change to hold me over the rest of the month, and I still need to pay back my friends from their help this summer. But regardless. Things are happening.
That’s not to say you can sit in a corner waiting for the money to just appear, of course it requires some action as well. But slowly and surely I am taking action. I’m now working in sales, and that requires a proactive mentality. And I’m changing my attitude and the way I speak about money. My new favorite phrases are ones like the following: “I love money” and “Yes! I just closed another deal!” and “Meet me at the Liceu on Friday night, Carmen is playing and I have great seats!”
Don’t worry. I still value many things above money and will always keep my priorities in line. I still prefer to walk then to drive a car. And I still prefer to shop at thrift stores, and to find random stuff in the street to decorate my house. But let’s be honest. I love to travel. I love being able to fly home to see my family. I love concerts and eating at nice restaurants. I would really love to own some shoes that don’t fall apart while walking down the Rambla of Barcelona, which force me to walk home through piss streets in my thin sock, which also have holes (happened to me this weekend). I would love to be able to invite a friend for dinner or to the movies. And yes, it would be awesome to actually have a bit of savings for the next rainy day. Or for future retirement, since as of now I have no pension plan in any existing country.
Money, I love you. Now please come make my world go around!