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Archive for the ‘The Universe’ Category

Last night I had a moment. These moments happen from time to time, usually every few months when the buildup of the world’s news stacks on my heart and brain until I just cannot withstand it anymore. I don’t really know what true depression feels like, but in these moments I can taste what I assume it could feel like. Helplessness. And then I feel rage, true rage with the blood boiling and all. And then sadness that we live in a world so full of hatred, and killings, and racism, and selfishness. I lose faith in mankind, which is out of character for me. Part of me wants to completely stop watching / listening to the news or even looking at people’s comments about such on Facebook. I’m sure it would make me feel better. But then, if I’m not paying attention, if I am not participating, then am I turning my back to people who are suffering and if I were in their place would I want the world to turn their back on me? Or ignoring movements and decisions and votes that could potential directly affect me too? When in doubt, cry.

Yes, it was that kind of moment. They happen about twice a year. The kind that calls for chocolate caramel fudge ice cream and an episode of The Cosmos to put things into perspective again.

So I found it very interesting that at yoga tonight, my teacher opened the class talking about this great storm that is blowing our way (San Francisco schools are actually closing tomorrow, yep California). She then spoke about how the world and all the catastrophes (human, environmental, etc) are like the big storm. It’s overwhelming and powerful and we just have to ride it and respect it. Then she read this quote:

“PEACE. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

She alluded again to the storm, and reminded us that in the middle of every storm is an eye. If we, as individuals, can find inner peace inside of that eye, inside of our storm, inside of our crazy Earthly horrors, then we are making progress. It doesn’t mean turning a blind eye. It just means that inner peace is the true struggle, and perhaps if more people in the world fought for that sort of peace, their own peace, maybe some of the fighting and seriously ugly side of human nature could stop.

So that is what I am going to try. To find the eye somewhere in this uncontrollable storm, and find calmness in my heart there. Hopefully that will somehow in the bigger scope of things and our cosmos, make a difference. At the very least, I think it will help me stay away from the ice cream aisle.

eye_of_storm

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snippetScribbled in various old journals of mine are the words I am Fortune’s fool. Not original, I admit, but my journals have the tendency to be melodramatic and what could be more melodramatic than a reference to Romeo’s romantic anguish? I have felt like a fool repeatedly in love, and until now, was not particularly happy about it. But I have experienced a synchronistic turn of events now having me think otherwise.

When I got my wisdom teeth pulled this summer, my wonderfully creative friend gifted me her newly printed zine called Snippet and a little black notebook to keep me entertained during the recovery. The theme of this first issue was “Journey”. A few pages into the zine I encountered a photocopy of the tarot card of The Fool, which I had never seen before. I was then prompted to locate and analyze the various symbols on the card and how that all relates to journeys.

tarot_foolThere is clearly the man walking towards a steep cliff, with his head held high and eyes closed, just one step away from falling off the edge. His posture shows no sign of fear or concern, and he does not pay attention to the dog next to him apparently trying to warn him of the potential danger ahead. The Fool carries a white rose in one hand, which I perceived as beauty and innocence, a ruck sack as he is clearly on an adventure, and the sun shines down on him from behind, illuminating his journey. It’s a bright, sunny day despite the looming threat of danger unknown to him.

I have since looked up the symbolism of this card, and it is more or less on par with this interpretation. But what I learned was that The Fool is an unnumbered card, or sometimes represented as a 0, either at the beginning of the Major Arcana or at the end. The number 0 being of unlimited potential. Anything could happen for the Fool, but only something can happen if he takes a step. He creates his own destiny. The Fool represents new beginnings and invites us to take a leap of faith and to trust in the Universe. He encourages us to believe in ourself and follow our heart, no matter how crazy or ‘foolish’ the impulse may seem.

All my life I thought being a fool was a bad thing. But now I was beginning to like The Fool.

At the moment of reading this zine, I was having a strong impulse pushing me towards San Francisco for both professional and personal reasons. I wrote in my journal mostly about how I wanted to be like The Fool on this new journey, this big move to San Francisco and everything it involved. I chose to trust in the Universe and focus on the beauty at hand.

I arrived and instantly headed out to the Burning Man festival, all full of excitement about my new life. There was a pending matter of the heart to attend to with someone out there, and I was looking forward to embracing that. Without going into much detail, I can just say that I didn’t see the precipice ahead, despite the fact there had been a dog beside me barking its warning for some time. Eyes closed, big smile on my face, white rose in hand, I took a leisurely step and suddenly there was no ground beneath my feet. I felt myself free falling off a cliff. I smacked the ground and it hurt. And, ironically, it happened while watching this beautiful sculpture called Embrace burn to the ground.

embrace_burn

I was, again, Fortune’s Fool. And there were ashes to prove it.

Later that afternoon I embarked on a different journey with my friends through a massive dust storm, in the hopes to reclaim my Burning Man experience and heal my fresh wound at the caring side of my lovely friends. The dust cloud was fairly dense, allowing just a few feet of visibility at times. There is something very beautiful and surreal about walking aimlessly through a dust storm. It’s quiet and calm and I am left with my thoughts. As I walked slowly through the whiteout, my mind returned to the events of the morning and the heartbreak. I kept thinking how foolish it was to open my heart and allow this pain to happen.

dust

Due to the lack of visibility we walked towards the setting sun that would eventually lead us back to our camp. The sun felt good on my skin, and I closed my eyes to soak it in. Since I couldn’t really see anything anyway, I kept my eyes closed and continued walking towards the sun. I thought about the Fool walking with his eyes closed, and I decided to embrace my new beginning. I broke off a bit from my friends and decided it was time for a self-love pep talk. Gripping the shoulder straps of my Camelback in each fist, I created a shield of armor over my chest and repeated to myself over and over again that I was strong. I envisioned my wolf-woman self, bringing me back to that centered, confident place where I sometimes find myself. My chin was up, eyes still closed, a smile finally breaking on my lips. I was a Warrior Woman, completely invincible.

And then, bang! I got side-swiped by a bicyclist. The girl he was doubling flew (safely) off the handlebars and both were quickly at my side, very apologetic. And I just stood there and laughed. I told them that I was walking with my eyes closed, so it was my fault. I told them about my Warrior Woman pep-talk and my invincibility, and we all had a good laugh. He brought out a bottle of tequila, and I took a swig. They told me a cute story about how they had just met thirty minutes before, and sent me along my way.

The Fool is not so invincible, as it turns out. That cliff edge is a real thing.

The next day my friends and I rode our bikes out to explore the artwork and came across an installation involving a bunch of old, differently colored doors attached to create a circle.

The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune

We parked our bikes and I walked right up to it, opened one of the doors and stepped through. The inside of this space gave me the impression of an old brothel, and as I turned around in the circle I realized that behind each door was a tarot card. I looked back at the door that I had walked through. And, no surprise, I had unknowingly selected The Fool, who this time was depicted as a masked woman in a beautiful black and white image spanning the entire door frame.

The_Fool_Wheel_of_ FortuneI remember unhappily muttering, “of course…,” and a woman inside the installation laughed at (or with?) me. I teared up a bit, just wanting to go home and crawl into my clean bed where I could close my eyes and stop walking and be safe.

Days later I was back home and reflecting on my week out in the desert. Suddenly all the different moments of synchronicity came together and I thought, perhaps there was something behind this Fool thing. I did more research into the card, and decided that I am not Fortune’s fool, but rather I am fortunately the Fool. I walk blindly and trustingly through my life and always have. And, for the most part, that has worked out for me and I have lived such beautiful and amazing experiences as a result. I would much rather trust people, and myself, than to live my life full of fear and doubt. I am the number zero. I am unlimited potential.

I was so afraid that this recent experience would make me question my judgement or lose my faith. But I am realizing that the Universe is indeed looking after me. I fell and it hurt. But it was the landing of a huge leap forward that I needed to take. The sun comes up each day and I have the ability to begin a new journey. Had I not trusted in my heart and followed an impulse, I would not be here in San Francisco finally moving forward in my career path and reconnecting with my family, old friends and new.

I am not invincible, especially when I allow myself to be vulnerable and exposed (or when I walk through crowded, whited-out intersections with my eyes closed apparently!). But I will not be afraid to close my eyes, trust, and walk steadily ahead. It may be foolish, but I love being a fool.

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“In shamanic cultures, synchronicities are considered to be teachings as well as signs indicating where one should focus one’s attention.  Such correspondences demonstrate the usually hidden links between the individual psyche and the larger world.”  – Daniel Pinchbeck, from 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl

meaningful coincidences can help guide us

meaningful coincidences can help guide us

If I have just one gift, it is that I am usually quite aware of the meaningful coincidences in my life.  Not only do I recognize them, but I internalize, digest, analyze, and piece them together to form some greater message.  Without trying to sound too New Age or religious (I’m neither), I believe that synchronicity is a message from the Universe, created specifically for each of us to help guide us on our life’s journey.

And what do I mean by meaningful coincidence?  It’s those uncanny moments where random acts, feelings, words, visions, people and dreams collide and intertwine in very direct and strange ways.  Those moments where a sudden connection of memory happens, experienced or in the making, and the hair on your arms stands straight up while surrendering to the magically inexplicable.

I’m sure everyone has experienced a coincidence before.  They do not need to be so profound, it can be as simple as this classic example:  You are thinking of someone you haven’t seen in 10 years, and suddenly you get an email or phone call from them out of the blue.  Taken alone, individually, these coincidences may not seem like a big deal or you may not even notice they happened. But when many occur simultaneously, and even start to cross over, it’s hard not to ponder the meaning of them.

I am not always experiencing these meaningful coincidences.  There can be fairly long lapses of time where there are no signs, when I am simply living my life and doing what feels right.  But there are other moments when, out of the blue, these coincidences start happening all. of. the. time.  To the point where it can sometimes feel a bit eerie, and sometimes I feel like magic is happening.  It is usually in these moments when I pull away from large groups and find myself eager to be in nature, or to spend some time alone in a more reclusive state of mind.  I can’t seem to pull away from books, generally non-fiction, feeling like my mind is starved for knowledge.  Generally those around me, who see me as an uber-social person, begin to worry as I pull away from the social circle and opt to just hang out one on one with people, or not at all.  But they have nothing to worry about.  I am fine, and generally in these moments I am more than fine, since I am working to set a path that makes my heart feel right, and that is exciting.

I am beginning to wonder now if these moments are random or if they are timed precisely for moments of transformation.  In my experience they come when I am not acting or living according to my heart or “purpose” and it comes as a wake up call.  The last time this happened to me was about three years ago, while in Mexico.  I was quite lost before I went on that trip, and so many powerful breakthroughs and epiphanies occurred during my time there, which shifted my path in a very direct and intentional way.  I thought it was just Mexico’s magic seeping in, but now here I am in Barcelona and it’s happening again.  So maybe the magic is inside of me.  I’m fairly certain that in my case meaningful coincidences are not random.  So I listen, and I choose to be aware.  And the more I become aware, the more dear synchronicity shows its face and whispers to me, and even seems to offer more blatant signs actually pointing me in the direction where I should be going.

Change is scary and sometimes unsettling.  But for me, my greater fear is to ignore the signs so generously provided, and perhaps not live up to my potential.  I’d rather just give it a shot, take a risk, and feel comforted that the Universe has not failed me yet.  As long as I listen and follow my heart, and the increasing amount of synchronicity in my life, I’m sure it is all going to work out as it must.

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There is something about writing that is very therapeutic.  It is a way to take that jumble of messy thoughts swirling about up there and to place them into some order (the Virgo in me prefers organized chaos).  I’ve kept journals my whole life, and go through long periods of dedicated writing followed by long hiatuses where I don’t write at all.  As I read through these old journals and posts, I realize there is a pattern.  I tend to write when I’m needing to work things out, when my heart is hurting, when I want to manifest something, or when I suddenly find myself in a moment of change.

To take it a step further, I choose to put these thoughts in a public space for anyone to read because I feel like this will somehow manifest what I’m trying to figure out, that somehow by ‘putting it out there’ and making myself exposed and more vulnerable that the answers will then find their way to me.  So far, it has worked pretty well =)

It has been a long time since I’ve written in this blog.  A few years back I went through a fairly big life transition, be it the Saturn Returns phenomenon around age 30, or just the early-life crisis of an illegal, broke, single immigrant trying to find her way.  During this period, I felt such a strong urge to write, whether it was in a journal, in this blog, or writing poetry for the Prostibulo Poetico.

It seems that after the year of struggling, soul searching and personal growth my life just fell into place.  I was offered reliable work and income, finally got my residency after 10 years of trying to make that happen, discovered my passion for birth and began my path as a doula, moved into my own flat, and experienced my first mutually loving romantic relationships.  In the past couple of years my life has become comfortable and reliable, not to mention totally awesome and fulfilling and FUN, which is exactly what was needed after a few unstable years of feeling like I was falling with no safety net.  As a result, I weened off writing in a very unintentional way, and this blog went off the radar.

Photo by Catherine Mansart

Photo by Catherine Mansart

Perhaps it’s because I work in threes, and because the cyclical nature of life enjoys keeping me on my toes, three years after my past transformation and now at the magical age of thirty-three, I am very aware that a new transformation is beginning.  For a couple of months now the Universe has been throwing me some signs that a) something needs to change, and b) the time is now, or at least soon-ish.  I see the signs.  I get that this process is happening, and I have some idea as to what needs to change, but there are many uncertainties.  That very familiar urge to find some quiet solitude, and to write down and share feelings and realizations as they come along, is back with a vengeance.

The sweet news is that I believe change is good.  And even better, this time around I feel much more positive about this inevitable change, as now I have a stable base below my feet as a starting point.  I can leap more confidently without fear of falling too hard. Overall I am very happy and feeling good about myself and the opportunities ahead.  This time there is no rush or immediate pressure looming over me either, so that allows me a little time to work all this out.  This is all dandy!

Regardless, transformations are never easy and I am having a difficult time right now trying to find out what exactly is happening and how to react to it.  So until I figure it out, and eventually react, I’m guessing my journals will get some more love and attention.  My lovely friends will unfortunately have to endure some of my head rants – sorry guys.  And maybe, if I’m not too lazy, this blog will become more present again and hopefully will work its magic to put me on the right track.

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I’m glad I was careful what I wished for.

One year ago I created a ‘Dream Board,’ which is basically a visual representation of all the things that, at the time, I was hoping to achieve as a result of my job.  I was looking for some motivation to keep me going, and when you work in sales, motivation = money.  After years of having fairly unstable, unreliable income and some difficult financial times, I was ready to reevaluate my relationship with money and make it actually a goal to learn to love it.  I first wrote a public apology letter to Money, admitting my faults in our deteriorating relationship. I asked forgiveness. Then I gave thanks. And to follow it all up, I started to follow the advice from a website called Master Manifestor and began my first experiment in manifesting with intention.

I first wrote out a Vision Statement, basically describing in detail what it felt like to have all these things I was hoping to achieve as a result of having more money (from more sales I was hoping to make), and then searched out, cut and pasted images onto a torn piece of cardboard to visually represent what I had written about.  Nothing fancy, but for me, meaningful.

I rigged the board so that is stood side by side with my computer screen in the office, where I would consequently absorb the messages sublimely 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  Multiply that by the full year of work … these images have had A LOT of hours to creep into my subconscious!  The board has become such a familiar extension to my work screen that I hardly even notice it any more.  And the truth is that work picked up in the 2011-2012 year, despite the economic decline, and I had a great year.

But after a quiet couple of months on the sales front this summer, I recently looked to my Dream Board hoping to rekindle its magic, when I realized something incredible:

Everything on the board had come true.

I’ve manifested exactly what I put on that Board.  It’s a bit creepy really.  Some of the visual items were more specific to making money, like copies of signed contracts and money trees.  But the majority focused on what that money would bring me, like for example plane tickets with my name on them.  In the past 12 months I’ve flown to California, Turkey, Germany, England, Cuba, Sardinia, and Mallorca).  With the intention of eating healthier, I had a picture of organic produce, which unfortunately is not the cheapest food option available. Now I have a box of produce from a local farm delivered to my house twice a month.  I even made a blatantly fake Spanish residency ID card and cut and paste a picture of me and all my details on it, which I not only put on the board but also kept a copy folded up in my wallet.  And this month, after 10 years of waiting and trying, I got my residency here!  I had pictures of doula related images, and I’ve been able to complete a full training course, attend a one week Midwifery seminar in Bad Wildbad, and as a result have been fortunate to accompany three families in the birth and / or postpartum of their new babies.  I printed out a statement of my bank account, blocked out the real amount and typed in a fictitious number slightly exaggerated but the point being I never wanted to hit zero again, or negative for that matter.  And though I never got to maintain that higher number on the Board, I have not hit zero in over a year and that’s saying a lot when you live in Barcelona (or, I should clarify, when you’re ME living in Barcelona).  The list goes on, you get the point.

This is my first proper attempt at manifesting, and I am pleasantly shocked by the outcome.  It has worked like magic.  And it is so simple!

My friend (and also my boss) made an interesting suggestion that perhaps my sales have been quieter these past couple of months because the Universe has provided me with what I wanted and thinks the work is done.  I think he is right.  It’s time to get manifesting again!  So this week I will be brainstorming the new things I want to achieve (as a result of making good sales at work) and will make a new and refreshed Dream Board by the end of the week, to remind the Universe that I’m still in the game!

Now that I’ve experimented with work, and feel confident in this Power of Attraction thing, I think I will now also try to make a Dream Board for my personal, non-professional life to attract the things that money cannot buy, which are plentiful.  I’ll check back in with myself, and maybe you, in one year’s time to see how this second round of Dream Boards pans out.

Thank you Universe.  I am, unabashedly, grateful for the abundance in my life.

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What is it with fish? This past year has been full of marine life anecdotes, and now I have a new one.

My good friend Carme first gave me the nickname “Dori”, just after the movie Finding Nemo hit the big screen in Spain (a couple years after hitting the big screen in the US, of course, since everything in Spain is delayed usually by decades). If you are not familiar with Dori, she is a blue Regal Tang fish with a really bad memory. She is constantly lost and foggy on the details.

At first I was offended. Dori is not the sharpest tool in the shed. My memory is not really too sharp either, and I can easily be distracted by “Squishy” or any other bright, shiny objects. I often feel lost and I occasionally make friends with sharks, who although seem tame are actually out to eat me alive. That said, Dori is my favorite character in the film. As Carme brought to my attention, she is the optimistic, caring and sociable character that brings comic relief to a somewhat rather tragic and sad story (the opening scene is horrific). Though a bit naive and ditzy, she definitely has a sunny take on life that is contagious and admirable.

I am grateful to Carme for the compliment, and for really showing me the good side of my personality. Sometimes I feel like I’m just swimming along with no particular destination in mind, talking to random strangers along the way and finding myself in a swarm of unexpected jellyfish, though hardly ever sensing the danger.

But right now I feel like I DO have a destination, but I am coming across quite a few obstacles. I truly want to start the path to becoming a midwife, and to having a secure life in Europe, but it looks like I need to patient a while longer. The intensive three-year midwifery program I want to study in England is impossible, as they only accept EU citizens (since midwifery programs are fully funded by the British government). A bit of a setback, but I opted for Plan B – to take the much longer, tedious Spanish route of a 4 year nursing school program in Catalan + 2 years of midwifery. And then I found out I missed the entrance exam date by five days so cannot apply until next year.

In addition, I need a job. My company no longer excites me, and no longer is supporting me financially. But due to issues with my (lack of) work visa, finding a stable job in Barcelona is proving to be difficult. The idea of some security and stability in my life sounds dreamy, but I wonder how it will happen.

I am aware of the jellyfish surrounding me at the moment, and I should be much more concerned than I am. Oddly enough, however, I feel the best I’ve ever felt in my entire life. It is so strange. I’m hurdling obstacles much more smoothly and calmly than ever, and really feel positive and strong. Of course I would like my current troubles to work themselves out sooner than later, but I am also very much aware of the fact that “opportunity’s favorite disguise is trouble.” What is now seeming troublesome or working against me, will most likely prove itself to be a blessing in future retrospect. My life has a remarkable way of doing what is best for me, and it usually just takes some time to realize why each event and each relationship presents itself.

And so, like Dori, I just keep swimming. And guess what? Swimming can be really fun! This whole blog came about this morning because I caught myself whistling the tune from the film while making coffee. And it made me laugh. And it also now makes me want to head to the beach on this sunny Barcelona day for a real swim. I am not going to be able to resolve my pending problems on a Sunday in Spain, so I may as well go out and enjoy the day.

click here to watch video

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I witnessed my first birth during a sexual education class in the sixth grade. The boys were in a different classroom, perhaps learning about how to deal with their uncontrollable penises. We eleven and twelve year old girls with sprouting bug bite nipples, learned all about what happens to you when you have sex. Babies. Babies, and lots of pain happen. Our teacher showed us the video The Miracle of Life almost as a threat, as if to say “this is your punishment for having sex.” The girls squealed and covered their eyes. One girl threw up. And as I recall another girl had a seizure (although, if my memory is not failing me, I think her seizure occurred during the class about tampons. All I know is that it happened, she hit her head on a bookshelf, and I had to run to the nurses office to get help.)

Since then I have never seen a live birth. In fact, I have never really seen a live birth off screen. But as fate, chance, luck, or pure “pinning the tail on the donkey” has it, it looks like I will being seeing quite a lot in my future.

I have decided to study midwifery. Or perhaps to be a doula. I am still trying to decipher between the two professions and what each require in terms of studies, licenses, lifestyles, philosophies, and job opportunities, etc. But one thing is for certain – I want to be involved in the birthing process. I want to work hands on with people. I want to build a profession that can support me while doing good for others. And I want a skill that I can use to help people anywhere in the world wherever I travel or volunteer. With approximately 128 million births per year, I think there is some job security as well.

This is not a random decision. This is a result of years and years of clues – little beans that only formed a full burrito once I was in Mexico. For starters, I have been obsessed with pregnant women and babies for at least the past ten years. A friend of mine used to come home at the end of the day and tell me, “Guess what? I saw FIVE pregnant women today!” – just to make me happy. When I was 23 years old, I commissioned an artist on Las Ramblas of Barcelona to paint me a picture of a pregnant woman, which I still have hanging in my bedroom. For the past five years I have thought of opening a cafe designed for pregnant women. And I have considered designing maternity clothing.

In high school, after years of surgeries and medical issues with my knee, I wanted to study medicine. I wanted to be a doctor, but at the same time I was more interested in alternative therapies. By the time I was 18 years old, I had gone through years of acupuncture, Reiki healings, massage, and yoga. I even wrote letters to Dr. Deepak Chopra, who had an office in San Diego, hoping that he would meet with me. When he (sadly) did not respond, I read all his books about mind over matter and positive thinking for healing. My Senior year I applied to Tufts University and a few other medically focused schools – but was rejected from them all. So instead I went to UC Berkeley and studied English instead. Go figure.

Previous to working in the production world, I was a teacher. And for the past 8 years I have worked on and off for nonprofit organizations in Africa (www.oafrica.org) and Mexico (www.puentemexico.org). So when people who know me solely as a location scout / business owner hear about my new birthing venture, they may find it strange. However, what is strange is that I was not working hands on with people, or doing something to better the lives of others, for these past few years. Though the experience has taught me quite a lot and I met some very interesting people, I was not placed on this planet to work on fashion and advertising shoots.

I collect photos of hearts made in nature. And keep a love journal. I stop and stare at almost every pregnant woman I see in the street, and talk to the Universe quite frequently. The moon intrigues me more and more each day. And I compare myself to animals on an uncomfortably increasing level (dolphins, wolves, etc). I want to learn about the use of natural herbs and remedies in health, and would love to grow my own tomatoes!

While in Mexico I took a personality test online with the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, just out of curiosity. And the result was “Idealist”. As for professions, the results said that, “Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.” I then took various other online quizzes and each and every one said that I needed to work in a healing or counseling profession. And in the jungle paradise of Palenque, a Mayan descendant saw the freckle on the fatty part of my inner palm and said that this particular placement of the freckle, according to Mayan tradition and spiritual artwork, was a sign of the eye – or the healer. He then got way too excited, showed me his freckle in the exact same location, made me nervous, and I asked him to leave. Ha ha.

Midwife I met in Oaxaca

In San Cristobal de las Casas, Chiapas, I walked for ages past the slightly dodgy outskirts of the colonial town, to visit the Museum of Mayan Medicine. While staring at a fake scene of an indigenous woman giving birth, fully clad in her heavy wool skirt, my heart started thumping. As the fake birthing mother kneeled in front of her fake husband sitting on a chair, with her clay arms wrapped around his neck, the fake midwife sat behind her to receive the baby. I looked at this interesting scenario and had a strong feeling that this was the way that birth should happen – but perhaps without all the heavy clothing and chicken sacrifices. Naturally. Vertically. With lots of personal care and love from one’s partner and/or family members. And of course, with a patient midwife knowledgeable in centuries and centuries of natural remedies passed down over time.

Now I am back in Barcelona and wanting to develop a skill to help people. And all the signs are pointing towards birthing, mentoring, and holistic approaches to health. At the moment I have no idea where this will all lead, but I sure do have a burning desire to get started right away. If anyone has any clue regarding this topic, please get in touch with me =)

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